It’s funny how with motherhood, the hardest and yet also most rewarding job in the world, is percieved.
I said to a friend the other day, that “motherhood is the only job in the world where you have no experience, yet you are expected to be an expert, where you aren’t paid, get no leave, have no on going training or support from senior management, and the only time anyone ever wants to give you feedback is when they think you aren’t doing a good job”. I was partly joking and partly serious and what I said was and is true.
People always will have an opinion on our parenting and how we are doing. It’s life. I am opinionated, but I have learned that unless I am directly asked for my input, or I am genuinely worried about the well being of a child or it’s parents, that I should keep my mouth shut. I have come to realize that sometimes us mums/parents don’t need any more thoughts on what or how they are doing, but solidarity and support and an understanding that we all parent differently and that my way is not the highway and someone else’s way doesn’t make me a better or worse parent because I don’t do what they do, and that if our children are safe, happy and thriving and us Mum’s are keeping a grip on our sanity, then we are all doing a good job.
That being said, there are people out there who think it is their right to tell us how to parent, when they HAVE NO ACTUAL FREAKING CLUE what we are dealing with or what goes on behind the closed doors of our lives. Who think they somehow have an answer to our struggles and want to give “helpful” input, without realizing the harm and stress they can be adding to.
For example, my kid has sleep issues, and oddly enough, as a proactive parent I have pretty much done it all and tried it all, short of heavy narcotics (for me, not him, of course) to get sleep to some sort of normal in our house. I have taken expert and experienced parenting advice from many sources and we have some things that work and that don’t. Nothing grinds my gears more than someone with no idea of how tired we are and what we have been through telling us how to fix it, and who isn’t actually going to be there when the going gets tough. (I am talking to you, health visitor person who I only ever met once, who had no children of her own, who told me it was ok to let my kid scream until he vomited, to get him to go to sleep at night. I will never forget your name or face, and I refused to see you again… )
Recently we have faced some parenting issues and have had to make some serious decisions about our life around that, and some major adjustments. Sorry to be cryptic, all will be revealed as and when it’s time, but safe to say, we have had some lovely support and some amazing input from people who we have sought out to help us.
We have also had some unwarranted and unneeded input from people who are happy to give their opinion but who aren’t happy to put their money where there mouth is.
So, with all kindness and respect, with changes happening for our family and some plans we are putting in place happening, and some things we are dealing with, I say this…
(this was sent to me via Facebook, I can’t find an author to credit, please let me know if it was you and I will gladly link to you)
Basically, if you think you can do a better job, than us, feel free to come on over, spend a week in my life, whilst I am away at a spa, catching up on some much needed sleep, and then you can tell me how to parent.
That is all.
Put your money where your mouth is, or shush, basically.
Thanks for reading my “I am tired, I am stressed, I am facing some parenting issues and trying to do the best job I can and don’t really need any more pressure added to my life” blog post.
Normal service will resume now….