I’m an emotional person, I’m short tempered, feisty, I speak then I think. I’m compassionate and moved to tears for people’s circumstances very easily. I can’t watch animal movies without crying and watching anything on tv or movies where a child is being hurt upsets me tremendously, be it factual or fiction.
I’m not very good at grief or letting my emotions loose when something is going on and I am hurting. Or if I’ve got a lot on my mind and can’t express myself, and even writing words doesn’t help.
I have a way of letting those emotions out. I watch medical programmes. Either documentary types or medical drama. I find them incredibly cathartic and therapeutic. The emotions and drama, fear and pain projected through the screen allows me to let loose my own feelings. I find myself crying and clearing out my soul.
We thought we were pregnant. It was a blissful two days of planning and hoping, and then it wasn’t.
It wasn’t planned or meant to be.
It’s been just another thing in the last 5-6 weeks that have made me say “2018 has sucked so far, it has to get better, right?”.
I wasn’t going to share, it seems stupid to. Why share something so intimate and so fleeting?
Where do we go from here?
I don’t know. I do know I’m going to be watching a lot of medical drama in the next week or two, til til the tears I can’t find myself to express otherwise have been and gone and I can forgive myself and my body, again…
I guess medical drama on Amazon Prime is cheaper than therapy, right?