Mother’s Day. Dear Mum. Thank you and I’m sorry.

Today is Mother’s Day here in the UK. There are many of us going through Mother’s Day, today, without our mums. The loss of my mother has impacted my life, the way I view things, and how I parent. For those of you mothering on Mother’s Day, with the pain of loss, be it an […]

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Those earrings…

Those earrings. Given to me by my parents when I was the same age as her. Made from a piece of jewellery my mother had broken up and made into a first pair of “good earrings” for me. Real stones. Diamonds and rubies. Worn for special occasions. Treasured as “proper jewellery”. Kept by me, hidden […]

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I’m still here. To my daughter on this big day…

To my daughter. Today is a big day. It’s a big day for you and a big day for us, and me. You are going off on a new adventure. Growing up. I’m sure it was only yesterday I dropped you off for your first day at nursery school and cried my heart out as […]

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Mother’s Day, always bittersweet…

When my mother died, for the longest time afterwards I was angry at her. I felt she had abandoned us, left us, not tried hard enough to stay. It took me a long time to come to a place where I wasn’t angry and I forgave her. Then I had children, and I realised beyond […]

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I do not need to be reminded to grieve…

Grief is a strange thing, and it’s very much a personal thing. One person’s grief is not the same as another persons. I know grief. I know it well. I have loved and lost. I have been slapped in the face, personally and bruisingly hard by grief. A fair bit of my life has been […]

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Christmas is still bittersweet, allow me my grief…

Christmas is usually an amazing time, with friends and family and to enjoy a break, give gifts, food and fun.  For me, it’s bittersweet though. I love it, but it is still tinged with grief, and a touch of sadness.  We have all the fun of planning and preparation, two excited children, shopping, cooking, seeing […]

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