Our journey to pregnancy wasn’t easy. We didn’t start “trying” to get pregnant, until we had been married for 4 years. When we first got married, I was still a student nurse, we were broke, and living in a tiny flat, so babies were not on the cards. I did, unfortunately have a miscarriage, due to a contraception failure (no details, but safe to say that even the pill is not infallible, I actually stopped taking it shortly after this happened) which happened whilst I was at work, and was a horrible, painful experience. We were more careful, until 2004, when we decided we wanted to actually try to add a baby to the mix.
We tried for nearly a year, which in most medical terms is “normal”, but I knew things were not right, my cycle wasn’t right, my body wasn’t doing the right things, at the right time., but my GP dismissed my fears and told me I would have to wait at least 18 months before I would even qualify for basic tests to see what was going on. I eventually saw a private gynaecologist, who took my concerns seriously, did some blood tests, confirmed that I had a mild hormone deficiency, and told me what I needed to do, to achieve and sustain a pregnancy. (to put it bluntly, my body does not know how to retain a pregnancy, I don’t produce enough progesterone, so I can ovulate, and might “get” pregnant, but it doesn’t usually last, I have had 3 if not 4 miscarriages, all ranging from 5-8 weeks, as my body fails to produce the hormones to sustain it)
We were told I would need progesterone supplementation, and I would have to monitor my cycles closely. My GP refused to prescribe the supplements, saying that I would have to see an NHS specialist, then I could get the medication I needed, which was another 6+ month wait.
I then suffered another miscarriage, I found out I was pregnant the day I lost the baby, at about 6 weeks. It was devastating, painful and I was almost broken. I didn’t need medical help this time, just rest and fluids, but it was horrible, nonetheless. To this day, I still remember the feeling of despair when not one, but two people announced “unplanned” or “we hadn’t really tried that hard” pregnancies, that week, as I sat at home, recovering from the loss, and wondering if we would ever get pregnant.
I went back to the private doctor, gulped, and wrote the cheque for private medications. It was worth every penny. Six weeks later, we were pregnant again, and this time, I was on the hormone supplements and miraculously, stayed pregnant. Unfortunately, I was hit badly with all day, all night morning sickness, continual vomiting, and unending nausea, so we had to tell people before I had my scan, because I was so ill, but we were very relieved to see a healthy baby with a beating heart at our 12 week scan.
Emily’s birth is also on the blog, you can read that here.
With Matthew, we fell pregnant “first time trying”, mysteriously, my body seemed to kick-start itself, and behaved normally, so we didn’t; need any hormonal help or supplementation. His birth story is here
Unfortunately, I have since, his birth, had a miscarriage, and it seems like my body has decided to go back to it’s old game. If we decide to try for a 3rd baby, we will be back on the hormone supplement game.
So, pregnancy and birth are not easy for me. I am grateful for my two beautiful children, and try to forget the painful bits that we had to go through before they were born. My journey is of course, mild, compared to some women who have struggled with major infertility issues, recurrent losses, or still births, but I thought I would share it, maybe what we went through can help someone, somewhere!