This week I am a bad parent because….

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Welcome to the Bad Parent blog post series.

 I am FED up of the way parents, and actually mothers, to be honest, are put under so much pressure, to be perfect and to have this parenting thing under control and be able to do it all, and the constant judgement we are under. This parenting job is HARD, we get no training, we don’t get paid, and we do it because we want to and love our children. Sometimes we don’t get it right, sometimes we get it more than right. We are all mostly just trying to do our best. I am tired of the “how to be a perfect wife, mother, craft provider, cleaning lady, cook…” stuff that gets flung at us every day. We need to take the guilt and throw it away and enjoy parenting, but also be able to admit when it’s not going so well, or might be a bit tough…

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My children, actually, one of my children, has found he can push my buttons and wind me up, and he knows it, and I do too and I react badly. Little Man, as much as I love him, is driving me a bit batty, right now…

The little stinker has discovered that if he sings at me, in a falsetto, opera style voice, he gets the results he wants. I get mildly irritated, at first, then I get more annoyed, then I shout. He thinks this is hilarious. I of course, do not. It is a source of much parenting annoyance at the moment.

For some reason, when he does this, , my nerves feel frayed, and I want to hit something. It started out as  a joke after he watched a tv programme (why do I let my children watch tv, it is clearly bad for them and me!!) I think, and now he knows that if he wants to get my attention, and amuse himself, he will sing at me, and will refuse to reply in a normal voice. I of course, have not hit anything or anyone, I have got that much control over my temper, and myself, so don’t worry, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to smash plates and slam doors when he does it. That sounds awful, I know. I hate the fact that he can wind me up so easily.

It makes me angry. It sets off all sorts of sensory responses, in my head, and I can’t stand it. I literally want to scream when he does it. He thinks it’s hilarious and will only stop if I raise my voice and threaten sanctions that he fears (removal of iPad time usually works, closely followed by threats to hand out pocket money for his weekly Smiggle fix)

I know I need to get a grip. He’s not quite 5 years old. Why am I letting a small person, who I normally love with a passion and would die for, wind me up to the point of wanting to hurl things around and shout? What is it about this particular thing that he does that makes me so cross and I can’t bear it?

I am learning to hold my breath, count to five (actually it’s more like 500 by the time I feel like I don’t want to shout) and speak to him calmly and walk away, and ignore him, but it’s HARD. I want to yell, stamp my feet and have him understand just how upsetting and annoying this little habit he has is, to me. I have tried talking to him about respect, about understanding when something someone is doing makes another person sad or angry, that we should stop, and I think he probably gets a little bit of that, as a family we try to adhere to that, but let’s face it, he’s not quite five, he doesn’t really know better, and he gets my attention and a reaction. It’s my job as the adult to handle it better. At the moment, I am not doing that well. Let’s hope this stage passes, although I am sure there will be plenty that will come my way, that my children, beloved as they are, do that will make me want to yell and shout…

This too shall pass, they say. I hope it’s fast, or I may go mad…

Have you got a parenting confession you would like to share? Feel free to comment, and add your own. Or if you have some thoughts on teaching my budding Placido Domingo that his antics are going to send his mother to the loony bin if he doesn’t stop, I am open to suggestions too!

 

 

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One comment on “This week I am a bad parent because….
  1. Natalie Ray says:

    Oh wow, this makes you a spectacularly tolerant parent in my book! My little one is quite similar and I’m afraid she gets to go upstairs to bed after a couple of warnings, she can make as much noise as she wants there until she’s ready to come down and behave reasonably. I know, I’m a terrible parent for sending her to bed. But sometimes it’s necessary to have a little bit of space from them. You are my hero for just counting to ten (or even counting to 1500 if that’s what it takes!)
    Natalie Ray recently posted…Second child syndrome

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