Dear Facebook

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The time, has come, for us to part ways.

What, you say? Leave Facebook? You, who is re-known for her love of social media, and prolific activity on such sites, really?

Actually, if you know me, and if you read yesterday’s blog post, you will see that my taking myself away from something that in reality, is not healthy for me, or helpful, for where I am at, and the things I am struggling with.

There are so many things I love about Facebook.

Being able to stay in contact with friends in different parts of the world, keeping up with their news, and photos, sharing things, and maintaining long distance friendships is made easier with social media, like Facebook. My own father now is living far away, and for him to be able to see photos and snippets of our day, is useful for him and a way of me keeping in touch.

Hearing news of pregnancies, births, marriages and joyous moments is also a good thing about Facebook. Sharing and supporting people when they are going through difficult times, and are not able to actually be with everyone they want to be with, makes it a useful thing.

It’s also a fun place, for sharing videos, photos, links to websites, sharing opinions (and yes, I have done all of these, and have participated and enjoyed many a debate on politics, medicine, parenting, and other subjects, via Facebook)

However, as much as you try and filter, hide feeds, or even as a last resort, block people, there is an ugly side to Facebook, and at the present time, dealing with anxiety issues, and trying to get myself into better shape, emotionally, Facebook is not a healthy place for me.

Some of the things I struggle with on Facebook:

  • Too much information – I have recoiled in horror, when on my feed, pops up not one photo, but several, of a dirty nappy, containing the contents from a child’s stomach bug… I am not sure why it’s parent felt the need to share that with the world, but even I found it stomach churning.
  • I once had someone I briefly worked   with, share the details of her husbands sperm count. They were having a tough time, with fertility treatment, and trying to get pregnant, but the sharing of such intimate details, on a public space on the internet, make me squirm. Safe to say, LSH would not be happy if I shared that kind of detail.
  • Also, the marital breakdowns, and relationship break ups? Really, do we need a blow by blow account of what an arse your ex is, or how many men your ex girlfriend has slept with? I realise it’s therapeutic to get these things out, and I am totally sympathetic to the trauma of a relationship with problems, but every day, and in glorious detail? The only exception I make for this is I have a friend, a lovely, strong, amazing women, who has struggled with domestic violence, in her relationship. Her posts have opened peoples eyes to what really goes on, and how awful it, is and how hard to get away from, and she has shared and been very brave. When it’s helping others, it’s good to share, but just to vent and rage, get a blog, I say!
  • Also, and I am sure others will agree, the cryptic posts, and the “I need sympathy, but I won’t say why” posts?
  • And the political, or lifestyle agenda posts, that passively aggressive kind of posting, “sharing” “helpful” information. I would love to know if anyone has ever actually read a link or a post shared, and gone and dramatically changed their life as a result? I find a lot of this stuff incredibly guilt and stress inducing, especially when it is “you know better, you do better parenting posts”. Also, people posting this stuff don’t take into account cultural differences or the fact that things are done differently in other countries. Bombarding people’s walls with things on car seat safety, is fine, but actually, not useful. Sharing links with “Please sign this petition to stop people eating cats in China” (or whatever) is all very well, but how effective is it?
  • Oh, and don’t get me started on politics and Facebook…..
  • Also, the “click like and you get a free Mac book/iPhone/Microsoft will give money to cancer research. Really?
  • And the constant bombarding people with business/sales stuff. It’s actually against Facebook’s terms and conditions to use your personal profile for financial gain, yet it seems to be ignored. Get a Facebook page, so people don’t have to see your constant drivel about diet pills, or whatever is is you are selling.

There are things you can do, to reduce your exposure to TMI and constant drivel on Facebook. You can block people, hide their feeds, but to be honest, that hasn’t helped. If I hid all the feeds from stuff that I didn’t like, I wouldn’t have any feed, some days. I honestly think people post stuff on Facebook that they wouldn’t dare actually say in real life, and in some situations, would get a punch in the face for. Hiding feeds means you do actually miss news you want to hear, so it’s a bit pointless.

So, I am shutting it down. I don’t know how long for, or if I will come back. I do know that if I do return, I will be deleting a lot of “friends” and tightening up what I see on there. It’s useful, but not always a good thing, to have so much information coming at you.

I de activated my account last night. I have to say, one day in, it’s not bothering me too much. Time will tell.

Disclaimer: I have been guilty of many mistakes on Facebook, sharing too much, ranting, possibly not thinking about other people’s feelings before I posted, or posting stuff that I didn’t think about before I shared. I think that’s why I feel so bad about Facebook, I realise my activity hasn’t always been as helpful to others or myself, and as I write this, I am talking to myself. (although I have never shared anything that gross, or punch in the face worthy, I hope!)

So, if you want to find me, you can, just not on Facebook, for now, in  a personal sense.

We still have our page, and I am on Twitter, and also Google+. These places are much easier to manage and maintain.

Facebook has lost it’s charm, I am moving on for now. I don’t feel bad.

I think this is a rant, so I am sharing it with Ranty Friday….

MummyBarrow

Posted in Friday's Rants from The Soap Box
2 comments on “Dear Facebook
  1. I favoured twitter over facebook for a while but am now enjoying my facebook content again. I must be lucky in not having similar friends who post such things as you mention. I’m not planning to leave facebook but I’d like to add my favourite gripe to your list.
    I really hate it when someone posts a ‘chain letter type thing’ saying “Post this on your timeline.90% of you won’t post this. Let’s see who has a stong heart.” etc.
    I will not be blackmailed into reposting such things by anyone…
    Sue Jones (EviesGran) recently posted…‘Tis the season to be jolly’ Spen Valley group’s ‘Cake & Craft’ CCC meeting in Liversedge

    • motherofmadcatsandbabies says:

      I think if I do go back, I will be editing my list of friends, and being really strict about my feed. I hate the chain letter, share this post to show you support things too… GRRRR!!

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