Magic Moments – A Small Breakthrough

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MM17th1I didn’t do a Magic Moment post last week, but I am back this week, and linking up with The Oliver’s Mad House, as usual. Click on her linky at the end of this post, to join in, and to see other Magic Moments posts.

As part of my “job”, I run parent & toddler groups, and help with a kids music group, at our church. Both have grown tremendously, and if I say so myself, are very popular, and busy, and I really enjoy what I do, and working with all the people I meet, and providing a community and social outlet for local mums, grandparents, dads and child care providers.

One of the difficult, things, however, has been that Small Boy has HATED coming to the groups, with me. It all seemed like the very ideal job, working with families, which I love, bringing him with me, so no childcare, and it is term time only, so fits around school hours. But, because, we now know he has some mild sensory issues, related to his chronic ear infections, and doesn’t like crowds, lots noise or busy spaces, and gets very distressed, when he is subjected to these, we made a decision that he comes with me to the music group, which he occasionally will take part in, but more often sits on my lap, or hangs around with me, while I welcome and look after people, and he goes to a very lovely, local child minder, for the other two mornings. It sounds very weird, and it took me a while to feel comfortable  explaining to people, when asked, where my child was, and why he wasn’t at my lovely group with me, and I felt guilty for ages, but to be honest, I felt that my carrying on working was important to me, and was good for my mind, doing something other than being “Mummy” and it was incredibly stressful trying to cope with a very upset and tense toddler, whilst running the group. We thought he might “get used to it” and I persevered for months, with him, trying to get him to settle, but we finally came to the conclusion that he was happier and less stressed at the  child minder. He adores her, she has looked after Big Girl since she was 9 months old, and is more like an aunt or a close friend than a child care provider.

Anyway, this week, she has been away, on her annual 10 day holiday, much-needed and deserved, and because my Dad is also on holiday, and I would normally ask him to help out, if he was available, we realised that Small Boy would need to come with me, to my noisy, fun, busy, full of people he doesn’t know, groups, this week. I must admit, I was full of dread, that he would really not cope, and be miserable, and I would struggle to help him handle things, but he, as usual, surprised me, and with a lot of talking about what was happening, explaining what I was doing, making sure he had plenty of snacks in his bag, and access to the Kindle Fire, if he wanted to go off to a quiet spot and watch some CBeebies to take a break, he really handled it better than I thought he would. We talked about not biting, which is something he does when he stressed and people are in his space, and he feels overwhelmed, and I kept a close eye on him, all the way through the session, but he coped so well, when you add the fact that we also suspect he has an ear infection, which makes him feel even more not himself.

So, my Magic Moment this week, was being proud of my Small Boy, who handled himself so beautifully, and only started to melt down and need lots of TLC at almost the end of the session. It was  a hard thing for him to do, he is only 3 and not able to vocalise or express his issues, like an adult, and being put in a situation that he struggles with, and managing not to freak out, was a huge thing for him. He starts nursery in September, and we are hoping by then, that his ears will be healed, and we will be working on helping him deal with his mild sensory issues, so that he can enjoy his sessions, and this week has given me renewed hope, and I am proud of my boy. He is with me all this week, too, and I am actually looking forward to spending time with him, and hoping he may even make some new friends in the group this week!

The photo is of him, having his snack, quietly, in a corner I had laid out for him, away from everyone, if he felt he needed some quiet. I found him, there, munching away, when it was particularly noisy in the middle of the session!

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8 comments on “Magic Moments – A Small Breakthrough
  1. Awww bless him. How lovely for you to be able to share this with him now. Hats off to you too it sounds like you prepared him well and giving him his own little quiet place was a great idea.

  2. Well done. I can empathise. I only used to help out sometimes at sunday school and some workshops on voluntary basis, but often struggled with J (who didn’t integrate too well and could be very clingy) and ended up leaving him often with his Dad. Sounds like he is doing great, going at his own speed.

  3. such a wonderful post that is close to home for me. my youngest is on the spectrum and he suffers with a lot of sensory issues related to his hearing. I know what it means to you when they make it through something like this. Well done to him and you 🙂 #magicmoment

  4. Erica Price says:

    Well done to your son for coping well with a new and difficult situation.

  5. Jaime Oliver says:

    Well done Small Boy! and well done you! i know the guilt that you felt over still wanting to be more than just mummy, i felt it with mine too!

    I am so pleased you have found a happy medium that you are all enjoying and when Small Boy does attend he is feeling better about it too!!

    Thanks for linking up with #magicmoments x

  6. Notmyyearoff says:

    Well done to your little boy. I think your set up sounds perfect. Mums and babies both need time away from each other sometimes too just to play and work and even have a bit of me time. I work at my mums with my laptop whilst she looks after him and its easy for him to get very clingy. I think we’re almost at the stage where he may be ready for nursery, eep!

  7. Oh wow, how nice that you can do something and he can attend and be reasonably happy. At that age, I think that’s the very best you can ask for. Well done Small Boy!

  8. Thats always a relief for you too, We have similar experience with running toddler group when Pants was smaller, he was ok to be left but would always end up clouting a kid when they took a toy of him or something similar! could make it more trouble than its worth some days when you have to tell of a small child when all they want is your attention! but he got better as he got older! He made a friend and they would play aka cause trouble together! Thanks for linking up with Thats my Kids 🙂 xx

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