Friday’s Rants from the Soap Box in my living room…

Here we are again. I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying.

I have 2 rants this week:

Rant 1: Self service check outs in supermarkets…

I seriously can’t be the only person who loathes these wretched machines? They’re supposed to make checking out our shopping more efficient and reduce queues in the supermarket.
In reality, they are a nuisance. The voices used for these machines are annoyingly patronising, the weight calculator where the shopping bags hang always seems to have a hissy fit causing the “voice” to yell at you “item removed from bagging area” and red lights flash, and a bored and slightly annoyed check out supervisor has to come and examine your shopping to make sure you haven’t tried to trick the machine and ferret unpaid for shopping away about your person or in your pushchair. You can’t remove a full bag of shopping from the rack, to fill another bag, and all the while, the incessant “voice” is harping at you, as you try to balance all your shopping on a tiny space.
The machines NEVER want to accept my money, and for the life of me, I can’t work out how to use my store loyalty points cards at some of them. I usually find that using one of these “convenient” machines makes me cross, hot, and I have been known to mutter the occasional mild profanity at being forced to use them (the Tesco closest to where I run our playgroup only has one cashier, and 5 self-service machines. I dread having to shop there)
I see other hapless customers using them, and getting hot and cross along with me, so I know I’m not alone. Maybe I need to start a campaign for their demise? Anyone want to join me?

Rant number 2: Christmas…

No, I’m not anti Christmas. I love Christmas, I enjoy celebrating with my family, planning for it, buying gifts and yummy food, in DECEMBER, not September! Why, why are the supermarket shelves already full of Christmas stuff? We haven’t had Halloween, or even Bonfire Night yet? Also, as my father pointed out, his local Sainsbury’s has Christmas food, such as mince pies and Christmas cakes on sale, that expire in November. WHO buys Christmas stuff to eat long before Christmas? Why do the shops feel the need to ram Christmas down our throats two weeks after our kids have gone back to school for the autumn and we haven’t even turned the central heating on for the winter yet?

Actually, I have 3rd brief rant.

Cats, particularly the cats that reside in our house.

Dear cats:
I am not a doorman, if I wanted to be a doorman, I’d ring up the Dorchester hotel and apply for a job there. My main mission in life is not to wait at the back, or the front door, to let either of you in, every 5 minutes, or as the mood takes you, because you don’t like the rain. I don’t like the rain, I appreciate you don’t like getting your paws wet, but I do have other things to be doing (and those of you suggesting a cat flap, yes, it might help, but Layla refuses to use one – she just doesn’t seem to get the concept, so it would be a waste of time, we’ve tried before) also, dear cats, while I’m at it, please stop leaving half eaten spiders about the house. I appreciate you eradicating the big hairy beasties, but I’m not loving have to deal with half eaten, tortured looking, once was a spider corpses. Thanks!

Those are my rants. Have a lovely weekend!

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