My Small Boy has had sleep issues. He hasn’t been the best of sleepers, but he is finally sleeping a little better. However, every ten days or so he throws us a curve ball, and has a hideous night. Last night was one of those. He woke at 11:30pm, and despite all our best efforts, didn’t go back to sleep til almost 2am. Then was up for the day at 5:45am. It goes without saying that I’m a little tired today. I don’t think it’s possible to understand how tired someone feels, as a parent of a child who doesn’t sleep well, unless you’ve been there, it’s hard to explain or understand.
I’ve not been my usually sunny self today. Running on less than 4 hours sleep doesn’t make for a good day for me. I’ve Small Boy was tearful and less than co-operative because he was tired, and Big Girl picked up on the mood and was struggling too. I’ve cried 3 times today. In the playground I was accosted by a fellow parent who wasn’t happy that there had been a game involving swapping water bottles played yesterday, and told Big Girl off, (apparently it was her idea) and gave me a lecture on germs. I know them sharing water bottles isn’t ideal, I didn’t appreciate being made to feel small in front of other parents, and she made Big Girl cry, and I had to send her into class with tears in her eyes, which in turn made me tear up. We then went to our Music Group, which was manageable, thankfully I have a team of friends who understand how tired I’ve been and they picked up my slack today and helped it to run smoothly. Halfway through the class I got a sms from a friend to say she’d just found out her Mum’s breast cancer has returned – cue more tears from me, because I know how she feels, (I lost my own Mum, when I was eighteen) and I don’t know how to comfort her or make it better, and I feel like a useless friend because I’m too tired to be there for her, when I really want to be.
We then headed home, but not before I got us on the wrong bus (don’t ask, I wasn’t concentrating) and I had a silent tantrum to myself at the bus stop as I waited for the right bus, and felt the tears come again. We got home, Small Boy thankfully went for a nap, and I decided that cleaning, tidying and admin could wait, and I napped too.
We had a playdate with a friend after school (she makes wonderful coffee and her kids and my kids get on well – Thanks Nina, by the way!) and then we managed to get ourselves home. I decided that while the children were eating supper, that I felt like baking. When I’m tired, or feeling down, baking is my therapy. It makes me feel better, like I’ve created something out of a day that has been less than wonderful, and it lifts my mood. I used to love shopping as my therapy, or watching a good movie, but neither of those is particularly easy with children, so baking is my replacement for them.
My pantry needs re-stocking, it’s almost bare because I need to grocery shop, but I had flour, cheese, good butter and enough milk, so I quickly threw together some cheese scones. I use an old recipe I’ve adapted over the years, and I use goats milk instead of cows milk.
They turned out quite nicely, they made the kitchen smell all home cookingy (yes, I know, that’s not a word, I’m TIRED, don’t pick at my writing skills ) and I’ve just eaten a couple, warm, from the oven, with butter, accompanied by a cold glass of cider. It’s not haute cuisine, but it made me feel better.
The day has ended better than it started, my children are both asleep, my poor, tired LSH has come home from work, and I’m headed to bed shortly. I truly hope we get more sleep tonight, but if not, I’ve got some scones I can eat, for my midnight snack!
I apologise for the quality of the photos, they’re taken on my BlackBerry, and I am in no way a skilled photographer.